Posted by: Kim | September 13, 2007

Mountain tops and Valleys…

The past 2 days have been a blur for me.  Tuesday morning I found a little lump in my right breast so I did what any responsible woman would do and called my ob/gyn.  The nurse immediately set up a mammo for me that afternoon so off I went to get my “tires rotated” as the joke goes.  After the mammo, I had an ultrasound of the area on my right breast where I felt the lump and according to the radiologist and technician, all looked like normal breast tissue.  I was told that the radiologist would take a second look at  the pictures and ultrasound and then have a second radiologist look at things as a back up.  Then, the images would be put through some kind of automated thing that can pick up areas of concern that the eye can’t see.  I left there on Tuesday thinking all was well.  So, Wed. morning I got a call from the nurse at my doctor’s office and heard those words, “I don’t have the best news for you.”  As you can imagine, my heart sank.  She told me they found a suspicious area on my LEFT breast that needed to be biopsied ASAP.  I was floored…completely caught off guard.  So…off I go to have a biopsy.  I was still trying to process everything and the poor girl who took me back to the procedure room got to witness my first breakdown.  She was sooo sweet and told me to cry all I wanted.  Anyway, I got myself together and followed her instructions.  I had to lay on my stomach on this table with my left breast hanging through this hole on the table.  She then lifted the table in the air (think of a car on a rack getting tires rotated…I know…you have a mental picture and it’s not pretty!!) so they could work under me.  At this point, my breast was compressed into a type of mammo machine so they could stabalize it.  Several pictures were taken so they could program the biopsy machine with the exact placement for the needle and off we went.  Of course, the radiologist was very generous with some numbing medicine (thank you!!!) and as they advanced the needle, if I felt any discomfort, he would give me more.  So, he gets some samples and off they go to examine the samples.  He comes back in the room, pats my back and says, I’m sorry but I didn’t get everything I wanted to get (just my luck).  He tells me that sometimes when they inject the numbing medicine, it causes the spots they are after to shift slightly so he suggests that maybe I could try to tolerate some discomfort so he could try again.  Ok, do whatever you have to do…pain or no pain.  So, he has to completely start over…more pictures, realiging the biopsy machine and another incision.  This time was definitely more uncomfortable but he was able to get a “beautiful sample”, PRAISE GOD.  By this time, I had been laying for about 1 1/2 hours and was stiff as a board.  My back was hurting, my neck was hurting and I was already badly brusied on my breast.  So…the procedure ends and the technician gets me bandaged up.  They tell me it takes 3 working days to get results so that means I have to wait until Monday…doesn’t that just figure.  They also promised that if the results happen to come in on Friday they will call me.  So, here I am, waiting, scared to death.  By the way…if you ever find yourself in this position of waiting and not knowing…DON’T TRY TO GET INFO FROM THE INTERNET.  I made the mistake (i just couldn’t help myself) of looking around this morning and I have convinced myself that I have cancer because of the type of calcifications I had.  I know that God has his hand on me and this situation.  I believe that with my whole heart but, I am still scared…scared of the unknown and what may come.  I am only 33 years old and I am just not ready for the valley of cancer.  It is so true that we will experience mountaintops (Deeper Still) and valleys (cancer scare) all through our lives and my prayer is that I will allow God to use my valleys to help others through theirs. 

Updates to come…

As always, blessings…KV

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Responses

  1. Lots of prayers are being lifted up for you. God can use our valleys to help others and He gives us the strength to traverse them.

  2. Praying for you!

  3. You are so much in my prayers. I pray the next days are God-filled for you! Much love.

  4. Lifting you up in prayer. God has you in the palm of His hands. Love you…..

  5. I am praying for you, too! I also pray that this weekend goes by quickly and ends with good news of perfect health on Monday!

    Love you!

  6. Prayer for you. Thank you Lord that you are in control! Thank you for sending your word…

  7. I am saying a prayer for you this minute! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

  8. “When I was afflicted, I learned your law” Ps. 119

    I pray God will impress his word indelibly on your heart during this time of stress…press hard into his word. Have you done the Ps119 challenge read yet from the church blog? I highly recommend it for you right now, dear one.

    There is a part about praying through the watches of the night that so reminds me of where you are right now.

    Blessings,
    Maggie

    PS: Paragraphs, dear. My eyes are too old! 😀 LOL!

  9. The waiting is the worst part and once you know something you’ll be able to breathe again.

    For now, just for today, try not to place expecations on what might or might not be a problem, okay? We just never know until we do know so have fun, try to enjoy and keep busy. I know it’s scary and it looks like you have much support so, rest and keep smiling.

    Peace, love and understanding ~ RS ~

    P.S. Good vibes for you!

  10. Kim, my mom sent me the link to your blog. I’m 33, and next week is the first anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. I read on your friend’s blog that you received yours today. Hang on, sister.
    http://www.radiantmag.com/article.php?id=155
    http://www.austinstone.org/resources/lifestories/melodyraines.htm

  11. You are in my prayers. May our Mighty Father’s will be done. May you and your family feel His overwhelming love and presence as He carries you all through this difficult storm.


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